ALEX HOLT

Decision’s, decision’s, decision’s…….that is what softball has turned into for me. I’ve always enjoyed the game, the girls on the team and most of my coaches.  BTW, I like my new coach, I think we need to get to know one another more.  Dad coached me for so many years that I thought being coached by someone other than my dad would be different somehow….trust me it is different in many ways, but what I am seeing is a pattern, a similar pattern my dad always had on me.  Let me tell you I am trying hard to figure what is bugging me??  Mom says it all me, my attitude and my introverted self. Then I think, no not all me.  I love softball, I love softball, I love softball, it is all I know, sadly,  Dad told me at the age of eleven to make  a “DECISION”, either dance or softball.  I chose softball for so many reason AT THE TIME.  When I think back I was making decisions all along, simple at the time, now as a senior and planning my future, I am sooo sure I have a problem with that.  It is my future, my life, my choices.  No longer that of my  mom, my dad, just me.  Sure, I am a bit scared out of my mind.  However, I do know this…..I will make the right one for me and only me.  Will it include softball, I am sure it will, but right now, I AM JUST NOT SURE WHAT TO DO!!!??!?!?  I am normal correct? Of course I am.  Life decisions are so difficult and I am a planner, I am a tad uncertain and I am sorry to everyone out there that thinks I seem like I don’t care, you’re wrong, I do care, it is all inside my heart and mind.  I wish my dad, my coaches would just ask me; “Hey Alex, what do you want? Where do you want to play, on the field or what college!  Please stop focusing on my awkwardness at this time.  Let me go on that field and do what I know to do.   GOD and I are working on his plan and with him I can do all things.  Please remember to say a prayer for me and my decision making plans, and my awakrdness at this time in my life.